Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
