I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize