they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
