Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
