Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If that was your dad, he is hot
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
