Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
