My hair reeks of homosexuality.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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