I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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