you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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