Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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