Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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