not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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