when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize