So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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