In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
