He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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