yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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