Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
