I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
