Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
