Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
