she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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