Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
