im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
This toilet bowl is my home.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
