I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
