During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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