i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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