I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
