Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
