God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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