Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
