That's when you crack a 10am beer
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
