I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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