Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize