Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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