oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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