And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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