At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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