do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
