i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
