"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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