she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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