conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
