Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
