Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
