Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
