My room smells like vodka and shame
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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