K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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