i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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