I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
