so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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