Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize