i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize