Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
