My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize