I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
