They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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