I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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