btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
