in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
