I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
