Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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