do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize