Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
