We're facebook friends in real life
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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