i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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