I hate all girls vehemently.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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