How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
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Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
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when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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